Remembering words, moments, looks, remembering faces, events...remembering happiness...or remembering to be happy...these are things I had never failed to do..untill I'm here...almost a year now...everything goes just fine...no holes in behaviour, grades are great, mother is not suspicious anyy more...friends have changed a lot...no roofs, no beer, no clubs...just home, university, home, job, home. Congratulations. Finally you are the one people want you to be.

NOT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

esor haytni dardzav, vor amsi 15 ic arden chem ashxatelu...mi koxmic lav a, myus koxmic che. bayc amen depqum tenc tchisht a, vorovhetev inqs indz kocrel em, dardzel robot. petq a mi qich aprem, azat shnchem.

enqan gorc unem anelu, bayc voch mi ban chem anum. chem haskanum inch akatarvum.

Dear Journal,
Here I am again. Happy and satisfied.
Yesterday we talked. It was so good. I think I am really in love and that doesn't scare me now, cause I see that I have the access to him. I think next time I'll ask him how he is. That will be great. And don't forget that I still have the Saturdays and now even more-the Mondays. This is it-the most important event for this week.

Somehow I feel that the Saturday will do a lot in this story. BTW, just found out that I have my story and I could write in down...It's a pity I don't have more time...

Bye.

erbeve patahel e, vor moranaq kyanqy, moranaq vayrkyannery vor tank en exel dzez hamar, vayrkyanner, vor erdvel eiq chmoranal?

Durs em galis tnic ev zgum vor kyanqy nor tap e arnelu ayd ory, vor aneliqner unem, vor der tchanaparh ka ancenlu, uremn husahatvelu ev hognelu iravunq chunem, petq e payqarem. durs em galis, tesnum em, vor dzyun e galis. hetqrqir e, bayc tany da chei nkatel, tany vochinch chei nkatel. chei nkatel, vor koxqi shenqi papiky shany zbosanqi er hanel, vor mer koxqi harevany meqenan er maqrum, chei nkatel, vor meky avtobusic ijel ev anhangist tesqov shtapel er depi poxoci myus koxmy. Bac ei toxel naev ayn, vor tchnchxuknery artnacel ein arden, vor carery nman ein avantgarde vochi sarce qandakneri. kangarum spasox yuraqanchyur mardu demqin mi arandzin artahaytutyun kar, meky txur er, myusy erazkot. meky ekav aynqan urax, vor akamayic jptum es...
Mardik tarber en, bayc bolorn aranc bacarutyan unen mi yndhanrutyun...nranq chen tesnum ayn inch naxatesvac e irenc hamar, isk ete tesnum el en, apa nranc entagitakcutyuny nranc shat arag TCHISHT uxu vra e dnum...!



"Oblivion"

The enemy arrives
Escape into the night
Everybody run now
Everybody run now
Break into another time
This enemy of mine
Divinity defines
Everybody run now
Everybody run now
Everybody run now
Everybody run
Under the burning sun
I take a look around
Imagine if this all came down
I'm waiting for the day to come

Come with us to the right
Join in the fight
Everybody run now
Everybody run now
Break into another time
Unity divides
Division will unite
Everybody run now
Everybody run now
Everybody run now
Everybody run

Under the burning sun
I take a look around
Imagine if this all came down
I'm waiting for the day to come

Under the burning sun
I take a look around
Imagine if this all came down
America it's all so beautiful
Until it comes away

Under the burning sun I take a look around
Imagine if this all came down
Under the burning sun I take a look around
Imagine if this all came down
Under the burning sun I take a look around
Imagine if this all came

fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK
qnnutyunners verjn en. senc lav handznac chkayi. 12 haypatmic, der amenacacry 12n a u karcum em el chi lini cacr, bayc amen depqum 17.5 matemic chem haskanum vonc stacvec, kam el 15 mikroic. mnacacy gone haskanali a. verjy eshutyun, menak lezunern em lav handznel.

lav ancnenq.



Is this who you are?
Some sweet violent urge
A weak fallen man
With the promise of an end?

Never tell me I am a child
Because I'm not!
I may behave foolishly, wild,
I may laugh, I may smile bright,
I may perhaps say stupid things.
I may climb trees or run all around the city,
Sometimes I smile to strangers, sometimes I talk to them.
I can go into a shop and break something,
They may not let me enter the bar.
But when I'm alone or just serious,
I wilsh I could be a child,
I wish I could be as bright as a star,
I could be a baby loved by everybody,
I would like not to have memories,
Not to see all this marvelous shit,
I would like not to have to be brave,
I would like not to show that I'm strong.
Sometimes I want you to protect me,
Sometimes I want to rely on you,
Sometimes I want to trust you,
So please don't tell me I'm a child,
Cause in moments like that I may cry.

I am strong enough to lie, to give you the wrong look,
To tell you the wrong words.
I an strong enough to go, to stand in the wrongest place,
To have this falcest face.
I am strong enough to cry when you are far and you don't care.
I am strong enough to die when you don't even make a try to save.
I know it's not fare, I'm strong enough to pray,
I am strong enough to lay in my bed
And to dream about you when you are away.

There are being moments when I want to run away, away from all these cars, buses, from this e-net, from university, from home, from the facec I don't know, from the faces I know, but I would be glad not to, from the thoughts in my brain, from the horror I feel, from prejudice, from pride, from music, from poems, from words.....it seems I want to visit the moon.....I want to fly, I want to be off-time, I want to be alone. I think I would be happy on the moon, I could talk to her, and she would talk to me. Now it's only me who speaks, she's always silent. I have always wanted to TALK AND NOT JUST SPEAK. There are moments in my life full of myself. These are the best moments, the seconds I value, the periods I want to have forever. Will I ever find a moment full of you not only imaginary, but there with me, next to me? Sometimes I imagine to myself that you are with me. Sometimes I'm holding your hands, but in fact I haven't even seen them clearly. Sometimes I see you in front of me with that magic smile you have. Sometimes I remember the seconds that we used to talk. sometimes I remember how I found out that you were studying in our university, I had never noticed you before, then I started seeing you on the stairs and then we started greeting each other. One day you asked if we had the lesson that day at 7 o'clock. It was noisy there and you had to repeat your question twice, then you said that you wanted to come. I didn't come that day, but you were there I know. I remember how you smiled when I hit your shoulder with the ball. I remember how I accidently hir the bottom on your page and opened it. I remember your photos which I didn't download. Sometimes I'm being a real fool. I'm trying to see you in everyone standing in the street. And then when I'm seeing you, I can listen to my heartbeats. Sometimes it seems to me that you are the one I have always needed. I remember the accidental writing I saw."Express what's in your heart" just the moment I was thinking to write to you. I won't write and you know that. But I love you and it seems to me that you know that too.

I will change my look, I will change my hair,
I will have another makeup, I will find a new style,
I will live in somewhere else, I will chose a new romance.
I will have some newer friends, I will speak in some new accent,
I will use some new words.
I will listen to new music, I will start living in routine,
I will chose new ways to walk, I will change my office, my work,
I will change the books I read, I will change the food I need,
I will change the place of TV.
I will drink from other cups, I will wear different hats,
I will be somebody else.
And if all this is not in vain,
I will be able to love again.

Hi Journal JAN!!!!
Chem harcnum vonc es, vorovhetev arden tesnum em, vor indz ahagin karotel es....!
Es lav em, amen inch normal a, daje kareli a asel lav a. Tramadrutyuns sovorabar lavn alinum, erevi dra patcharov el es verjers chem grum.
Esor katastrofik baner en exel, havanakanutyuny 12 em stacel, chnayac 10i ei spasum, nenc vor yst erevuytin petq a uraxanam. Arandznapes shat chem nexvel. Spasum em myus gnahatakannerin. Esor zarmanali ban a katarvel: Anglereni jamy annkat a ancel, patkeracneln anhnar a, bayc tenc er.
Verjy, senc baner, verjapes ara GAVNODAVNERy, vor esqan jamanak man ei galis.

Sirts lcvel a erjankutyamb u amen inch tetev em tanum. Shnorhakal em. Senc ban erbeq chei zgacel, erbeq cher exel, vor amenavat tramadrutyan mej el hankarc hishem inch vor mekin u jptam. SHNORHAKAL EM. Apsos, vor vochinch chgites. Ete miayn mi qich hamardzak linei...Axr gitem, vor ete anem, amen inch lav a linelu u mer mot amen inch stacvlu a. Bayc der chem anum, spasum em... Husov em indznic araj ancnox chi lini...

Ու մխրճվեց երկինքն իմ մեջ, քամին քշեց ճամփով երկար քիչ ուշացած կյանքի մի տենչ, ծնեց հանգչող մի մեղեդի կիսատ թողած այն հին երգի...

Harcnem vonc es? vonc harcnem, ete barevely mi kerp em hajoxacnum, vonc harcnem...es qo nman hamardzak chem, Son.

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I'd do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Հարցրին՝ Առանց ինչի՞ չես կարող ապրել:
Չգիտեմ ինչու ասացի՝ Առանց հայելու..
Ավելի շուտ հիմա արդեն գիտեմ, թե ինչու դա ասացի....ես չեմ կարող ապրել առանց ինձ ճանաչելու,առանց իմանալու, թե ինչ եմ ուզւոմ: Հիմա կարծես թե ամեն ինչ գիտեմ, զգում եմ ինձ, կողքիններիս, նաեւ նրանց, ովքեր իմ կողքին չեն...բայց.....բայց........մի բան կա, ավելի շուտ սկսում է լինել, որը չեմ հասկանում, չեմ հասկանում քեզ, Սի՛րտ, ես քեզ չեմ հասկանում.......ասա՛, որ չես սիրահարվում, խնդրում եմ ասա՛....դու գիտես, որ իրականում սիրել չգիտես, ուրեմն....ինչի՞դ է պետք....ի՞նչ ես անում....ի՞նչն է փոխվել....
Սի՛րտ իմ, մի՞թե գարունս է խլանում, ես չգիտեմ ինչ եմ կորցրել, ինչ եմ փնտրում....թե սիրել եմ ու թե այրվել, ի՞նչն եմ ապրել...

Esor marshrutkayum mi papiki tesa.........nenc lavn er, nenc bari achqer uner.....bayc nenc mexk er....mazery xarnvac, moruqy anxnam..................mi pah achqers lcvecin...mtaceci, vor kuzei inqy liner im erkrord papiky....ete tenc liner erbeq chei toxni, vor mazery xarnvac linein, misht im dzerqov ksanrei..........
ynkel em lirikakan shexumneri mej...............achqis barianum em.........

Vaxuc ei mtacum, vor Gayush@ LJ kunena......esor chgitem inchi parap mnaci u vorosheci gtnel............Gta..........vonc vor mtacel ei............

Shat hetaqrqir er.....tchisht a qich er, bayc et qichn el shat ban asec...........du baxtavor mard es.............inchqaaaaaaaan shat a inqy qez sirum........kam el nershnchum a vor etqan shat a sirum ................bayc et pahy qez chpiti huzi...karevory, vor inqy tenc a mtacum.........u amboxjapes qonna..........

Es verjapes haskaca te qez inch er petq..........u.......... gites.....hima arden HASTAT hamozvac em, vor en inch exav, tchisht exav, vorovhetev es qez erbeq chei ta en inch qez petq a////

Gites en skzbum indz asel ein, vor inqy shat pak mard a...........bayc hima es dranum XIST kaskacum em.............isk ete iroq tenc a exel........uremn inqy iran chi nershnchum......uremn iroq qez etqan shat a sirum.................

Bayc et depqum....ete nuyn dzevov es mtacum vonc vor myus bolori jamanak, uremn shat vat es anum, vorovhetev inqy tenc tetev da chi tani....nenc vor..........

senc baner......... 
Erbemn iroq vor zuygery tchisht en kazmvum.............qez petq a meky, vor inqnagnahatakand anyndhat bardzracni, isk iran-meky, vor ijacni.......

PS. Chmtaces te...mtacacis kesy chem grel....kardalu yntacqum inch mtqis ekel er grel em.......... :)

Dear journal,
Im not gonna tell you avout all my torments and nightmares...........simply want to tell you hi..............i've missed you.......

You've got a friend, a notebook, which is always with me..........

Well.....

Not in a mood..............i'll write tomorrow............

bye...............

 next year I would like to hear words like this and believe them................I wish ...............no I'll wish on Christmas............



I can\'t believe it\'s over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I\'d only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying

Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognize the girl you are today
And God I hope it\'s not too late
It\'s not too late

\'Cause you are not alone
I\'m always there with you
And we\'ll get lost together
Until the light comes pouring through
It\'s when you feel like you\'re done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you\'re not lost
When your world\'s crashing down
And you can\'t bear the cross
I said, babe, you\'re not lost

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you\'ve gone crazy but you\'re not
Things have seemed to change
There\'s one thing that\'s still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away

\'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we\'ll get lost together
Until the light comes pouring through
It\'s when you feel like you\'re done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you\'re not lost
And the world\'s crashing down
And you can not bear the cross
I said, baby, you\'re not lost


Michael Buble 'Lost"

Dear journal....
I'm back again......in fact I'm always being back.........I love you...............
I wanna say lots of good things...........New Year is comming.........what have I done.......? what have I done this year..........
OK............
this year...I've changed my life........completely..........on October 5th............I've changed friends.........I've changed ideas.........I've changed myself..........(thank you if you're reading this...:))
this year.....I found a job...........in fact a quite good one.........
this year.....I've done well at university.....
this year.....I've fought with mom..............but I loved her more...........I really did................Sorry mom, for everything, sorry for the tears on your eyes, sorry for the stones on your heart, sorry for the holes in your soul........I'm guilty...................and ...............I love you.......
this year.....I became more confident,,,,,,,,,,,more busy,,,,,,,,,,,,more,,,,,more,,,,,,more..................lots of things more.............
this year..........I've  loved.........(thank you again).............I have been happy......I have suffered...........I have cried......I have laughed..

I will remember.......YOU............your birthday.........my birthday...........our days together............the roof............Cocon.........Gor's concert.................................................my first kiss...........the following kisses....................Sonul's birthday...............that day at SQ1............
With me will stay.......MOTHER.................KAT'USH..............YOU.....................FRIENDS.....................SONGS..................BOOKS.................SNOW.............LIVEJOURNAL........
....................................................................ME

that's it..................................................HAPPY NEW YEAR.......................DEAR JOURNAL......................................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....................I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............................

   Здравствуй, мама 
   Плохие новости
   Герой погибнет 
   В начале повести
    
   И мне останутся 
   Его сомнения 
   Я напишу о нём
   Стихотворение 
    
   Любовь как случайная смерть
   Любовь
   Любовь как случайная смерть 
   Любовь 
    
   Любовь как случайная смерть 
   Любовь как случайная смерть
   Любовь как случайная смерть
   Любовь
    
   Здравствуй, мама 
   Опять не очень 
   Так сложно быть 
   Хорошей дочерью
    
   Твои открытки 
   Я получаю 
   Ты расскажи ему
   Как я скучаю 
    
   Любовь как случайная смерть 
   Любовь как случайная смерть 
   Любовь как случайная смерть 
   Любовь 
    
   Венерические болезни 
   Бесконечно красивые ночи
   Телефонный звонок как инъекция морфия 
   Как мне увидеть тебя среди прочих ?
   Всё случится после 
   Если случится после
   Я вдыхаю твои обстоятельства чтобы
   Выдохнуть и оказаться возле